Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My vagina just recognized that song.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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