I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
