Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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