That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
