I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
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My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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