I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
