I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
