At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
