my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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