after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize