her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
