I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
