The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize