Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
