She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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