i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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