Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
