Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
