This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
