Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
