No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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