I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
