How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
