I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
