You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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