can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
