i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
