I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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