Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
