Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
