Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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