Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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