we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
