why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
