Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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