so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
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We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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