It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize