he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
whose parrot is this?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
