At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
3 2 1 whiskey
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
