Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I need to stop coming to work sober
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
