I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
