Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
