I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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