I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
