My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize