apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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