Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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