this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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