Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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