remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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