This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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