Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
