I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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