yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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