So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
