i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
