IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
