she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She needs sedatives and a leash
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
