Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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