what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
