Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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