There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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