he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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